In terms of column writing, with the exception of one or two others, I am probably paid as well as you can be as a journalist. I attribute some of this success to my ability to haggle. The main thing in this game is to ask for money and when they tell you the amount you say, "no, I want more".

Ask a footballer what they can cook and they always say spaghetti. It is what you reach for when there is nothing else left in the larder. It's poor people's food and it's unsophisticated. It's the same as bread - you just boil it instead of putting it in the oven.

In terms of column writing, with the exception of one or two others, I am probably paid as well as you can be as a journalist. I attribute some of this success to my ability to haggle. The main thing in this game is to ask for money and when they tell you the amount you say, "no, I want more".

I don't think I have ever learnt a difficult lesson. Probably sports betting, which I have lost money on. I did lose money on Apple. You'd have thought you could only make money on Apple but I was one of the people who managed to lose.

My dad was undeniably famous when I was a kid - he was on Wogan and Clive James and the radio every week, but as far as I was concerned he wasn't famous enough. My best friend was Ben Brooke-Taylor. His dad Tim was in The Goodies - that was famous.

I am afraid that I am actually naturally good with money. My wife thinks it is because I am a Jew, which is both slightly anti-Semitic and also correct. Frankly, all my "goysha" - gentile - friends haven't got a clue.