I feel myself trying to be charming, and then I realize I’m obviously trying to be charming, and then I try to be even more charming to make up for the fake charm, and then I’ve basically turned into Liza Minnelli: I’m dancing in tights and sequins, begging you to love me. There’s a bowler and jazz hands and lots of teeth.

I can't think of anything more crushing than slowly, over time, realizing exactly how wrong you were about someone.

I'm not someone who can be depended one five days a week. Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday? I don't even get out of bed five days in a row-I often don't remember to eat five days in a row. Reporting to a workplace, where I should need to stay for eight hours-eight big hours outside my home- was unfeasible.

I've always believed clear-eyed sobriety was for the harder hearted.

I had no sympathy for drama queens.

She released her grievances like handfuls of birdseed: They are there, and they are gone.

To me, marriage is the ultimate mystery.