The essence of life is the smile of round female bottoms, under the shadow of cosmic boredom.

There is only one good thing in life, and that is love. And how you misunderstand it! how you spoil it! You treat it as something solemn like a sacrament, or something to be bought, like a dress.

The English have only three sauces - a white one, a brown one and a yellow one, and none of them have any flavor whatever.

Every government has as much of a duty to avoid war as a ship's captain has to avoid a shipwreck.

A sick thought can devour the body's flesh more than fever or consumption.

I said, 'If other beings besides us exist on Earth, why didn't we meet them a long time ago?

Abstinence is the worst form of perversion.