Kant was probably the worst writer ever heard of on earth before Karl Marx. Some of his ideas were really quite simple, but he always managed to make them seem unintelligible. I hope he is in Hell.

The average schoolmaster is, and always must be, an ass.

It is the classic fallacy of our time that a moron run through a university and decorated with a Ph.D. will thereby cease to be a moron.

Men always try to make virtues of their weaknesses. Fear of death and fear of life both become piety.

It is not the drinker, but the man who has just stopped drinking, who thinks the world is going to the dogs.

The true bureaucrat is a man of really remarkable talents. He writes a kind of English that is unknown elsewhere in the world, and an almost infinite capacity for forming complicated and unworkable rules.

Religion is "so absurd that it comes close to imbecility."