Evangelical Christianity, as everyone knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love.

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads.

Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.

A nun, at best, is only half a woman, just as a priest is only half a man.

The only time you have a free press is when you own one.

Sunday is a day given over by Americans to wishing that the themselves were dead and in Heaven, and that their neighbors were dead and in Hell.

How to Drink Like a Gentleman: The Things to Do and the Things Not To, as Learned in 30 Years' Extensive Research.