It is not the drinker, but the man who has just stopped drinking, who thinks the world is going to the dogs.

The objection to Puritans is not that they try to make us think as they do, but that they try to make us do as they think.

Philadelphia is the most pecksniffian of American cities, and thus probably leads the world.

As long as you represent me as praising alcohol I shall not complain. It is, I believe, the greatest of human inventions, and by far - much greater than Hell, the radio or the bichloride tablet.

A dull, dark, depressing day in Winter: the whole world looks like a Methodist church at Wednesday night prayer meeting.

Pedagogues: More than any other class of blind leaders of the blind they are responsible for the degrading standardization which now afflicts the American people.

The art of writing, like the art of love, runs all the way from a kind of routine hard to distinguish from piling bricks to a kind of frenzy closely related to delirium tremens.