It is a peculiarity of the American mind that it regards any excursion into the truth as an adventure into cynicism.

There is no record in human history of a happy philosopher: they exist only in romantic legend.

Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood.

Religion deserves no more respect than a pile of garbage.

Those tragic comedians, the Chamber of Commerce red hunters, the Women's Christian Temperance Union smellers, the censors of books, the Klan regulators, the Methodist prowlers, the Baptist guardians of sacred vessels-we have the national mentality of a police lieutenant.

Politics, as hopeful men practise it in the world, consists mainly of the delusion that a change in form is a change in substance.

Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.