A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.

My guess is that well over eighty per cent. of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought.

Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.

The Old Testament, as everyone who has looked into it is aware, drips with blood; there is, indeed, no more bloody chronicle in all the literature of the world.

It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.

Women have a hard enough time in this world: telling them the truth would be too cruel.

One yearns unspeakably for a composer who gives out his pair of honest themes, and then develops them unashamed, and then hangs a brisk coda to them, and then shuts up.