A skeptic as to all ideas, including especially my own, I have never suffered a pang when the ideas of some other imbecile prevailed.

A wealthy man is one who earns $100 a year more than his wife's sister's husband.

In human history a moral victory is always a disaster, for it debauches and degrades both the victor and the vanquished.

Our whole practical government is grounded in mob psychology and the Boobus Americanus will follow any command that promises to make him safer.

Laws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner

Genius: the ability to prolong one's childhood.

If there were only three women left in the world, two of them would immediately convene a court-martial to try the other one.