No matter how much a woman loved a man, it would still give her a glow to see him commit suicide for her.

The only really respectable Protestants are the fundamentalists. Unfortunately, they are also palpable idiots.

The great artists of the world are never Puritans, and seldom even ordinarily respectable.

Some immemorial imbecilities have been added deliberately, on the ground that it is just as interesting to note how foolish men have been as to note how wise they have been.

Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.

Always remember this: If you don't attend the funerals of your friends, they will certainly not attend yours.

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries and then went roistering down the highways of the world, proving to all men that doubt, after all, was safe - that the god in the sanctuary was finite in his power and hence a fraud. One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.