I believe that religion, generally speaking, has been a curse to mankind - that its modest and greatly overestimated services on the ethical side have been more than overcome by the damage it has done to clear and honest thinking.

There are two impossibilities in life: "just one drink" and "an honest politician."

When you sympathize with a married woman you either make two enemies or gain one wife and one friend.

School days, I believe, are the unhappiest in the whole span of human existence.

The federal [bank deposit] insurance scheme has worked up to now simply and solely because there have been very few bank failures. The next time we have a pestilence of them it will come to grief quickly enough, and if the good banks escape ruin with the bad ones it will be only because the taxpayer foots the bill.

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

[Art is] an attempt to escape from life.