Pastor: One employed by the wicked to prove to them by his example that virtue doesn't pay.

The great achievement of liberal Protestantism was to make God boring.

Whenever a reporter is assigned to cover a Methodist conference, he comes home an atheist.

[T]here is only one sound argument for democracy, and that is the argument that it is a crime for any man to hold himself out as better than other men, and, above all, a most heinous offense for him to prove it.

Jealousy is the theory that some other fellow has just as little taste.

It is more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.

Politics, under a democracy, reduces itself to a mere struggle for office by flatterers of the proletariat; even when a superior man prevails at that disgusting game he must prevail at the cost of his self-respect. Not many superior men make the attempt. The average great captain of the rabble, when he is not simply a weeper over irremediable wrongs, is a hypocrite so far gone that he is unconscious of his own hypocrisy.. a slimy fellow, offensive to the nose.