My wife converted me to religion. I never believed in hell until I married her.
You know it is summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer.
The likelihood of getting lost is directly proportional to the number of times the direction-giver says, 'You can't miss it'.
Dolphins : Animals that are so intelligent that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train a man to stand on the edge of their pool and throw them food three times a day.