My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day.
Hannibal BuressThere's no room for failure performing [stand-up] for a black audience. If you don't get them right away it's tough winning them back even if you're doing top-notch material. If you didn't win them right when you walked out there, it's tough.
Hannibal BuressThere have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'
Hannibal Buress