The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don't known how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes late. The schedule is a little, uh, bit off." He grinned sheepishly. "That's ridiculous!" murmured the Ticktockman behind his mask. "Check your watch." And then he went into his office, going mrmee, mrmee, mrmee, mrmee.

Posing the question: does the god of love use underarm deodorant, vaginal spray and fluoride toothpaste?

There is no nobler chore in the craft of writing than holding up the mirror of reality and turning it slightly, so we have a new and different perception of the commonplace, the everyday, the 'normal,' the obvious. People are reflected in the glass. The fantasy situation into which you thrust them is the mirror itself. And what we are shown should illuminate and alter our perception of the world around us. Failing that, you have failed totally.

be careful of monsters with teeth

In these days of widespread illiteracy, functional illiteracy... anything that keeps people stupid is a felony.

I see all. I hear all. I know all. And I spend a great deal of time in the bathroom.