Those experiences "made us who we are today!" It's just the way things are.
In Life We Can Have Results or Reasons.
Amateurs focus on rewards. Professionals focus on risk!
Whenever we see something that we want to create, the first thing we bump into is these beliefs (reasons) that have shaped our experience thus far. And so the battle ensues. Possibilities vs. Limitations.
Change your meanings you alter your destiny. Life does not give us what we want. Life gives us whatever we expect.