My hair looks like it had been purchased at a rummage sale after all the real hair was gone.

My favorite was Love Is...Never Having to Say You're Sorry. This was,the good Lord knew, a dream of mine. But every time I refused to apologize for something, Love seemed to just fly out the window.

Decoupage hit Mooreland pretty hard.

They did a lot of cleaning in their house, which I considered to be a sign of immoral parenting. The job of parents, as I saw it, was to watch television and step into a child's life only when absolutely necessary, like in the event of a tornado or a potential kidnapping.

Mother always said she was a size 7 woman she kept wrapped in fat to prevent bruising.

I respect every way in which you are a troublemaker, now get up and do what your mother says.

What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won't give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp.