Mother, may I go and maffick, Tear around and hinder traffic?

Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

The fashion just now is a Roman Catholic frame of mind with an Agnostic conscience: you get the mediaeval picturesqueness of the one with the modern conveniences of the other.

Oysters are more beautiful than any religion... There's nothing in Christianity or Buddhism that quite matches the sympathetic unselfishness of an oyster.

Monogamy is the Western custom of one wife and hardly any mistresses.

Never be a pioneer. It's the early Christian that gets the fattest lion.

The cook was a good cook, as cooks go; and as cooks go, she went.