I'm no good at anything. Not men. Not social skills. Not work. Nothing.

No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.

When someone loves you it's like having a blanket all round your heart.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one part of your life starts looking up, another falls to pieces.

It's amazing how much time and money can be saved in the world of dating by close attention to detail. A white sock here, a pair of red braces there, a gray slip-on shoe, a swastika, are as often as not all one needs to tell you there's no point in writing down phone numbers and forking out for expensive lunches because it's never going to be a runner.

One must not live one's life through men but must be complete on oneself as a woman of substance.

Though with Bridget Jones's Baby: the Diaries, I'd like to make it clear that I did not ever get pregnant by two men.