I have one show biz picture in my house. It's with Mr. Hope. I have asked for one autograph in my life: Mr. Hope's.

I pride myself on never using a cuss word on stage. Ever. I headline in Las Vegas every year, and this summer I am performing on an Alaskan cruise. Not too many comedians can pull that off. Funny thing is, my show doesn't change for Vegas.

Sharks attack surfers because they look like a seal. Apparently, when you're layng on your board and you have your arms and legs hanging off, from underneath you look like a seal. So I just got a picture of a seal and put a red line through it and put it underneath my board.

My standup has always been a direct reflection of my life. When I was single, I talked about single stuff. I talked about dating. When I got married there were only a handful of stories I could move over to where I wasn't going to be disrespectful to my wife. So I developed a new routine.

My comedy is for adults, but you can have your kids listen to it. They won't get all the jokes because hopefully I'm more cerebral than a 10-year-old... but if you ask my wife, I'm not!

I have one show biz picture in my house. It's with Mr. Hope. I have asked for one autograph in my life: Mr. Hope's.

In the early days I was on the road 45-50 weeks a year, driving from gig to gig 6-8 weeks in a row. Not everyone can do that. The show becomes the easy part. Tt's the life on the road that is the hardest... and you can't get any good at standup unless you do the road.