I'm smart cause I'm Korean, I'm not so smart cause I'm from the south. They cancel each other out, so I'm even.

College is great. It's the only time in life where you can write a check for 39 cents... and bounce it.

I pride myself on never using a cuss word on stage. Ever. I headline in Las Vegas every year, and this summer I am performing on an Alaskan cruise. Not too many comedians can pull that off. Funny thing is, my show doesn't change for Vegas.

My wife gets mad because we'll be in the middle of something and I'll stop and say, 'No, I've got to write this down!' She'll say, 'No! We're in a discussion!' I say, 'I know, but it's hilarious!

I'm smart cause I'm Korean, I'm not so smart cause I'm from the south. They cancel each other out, so I'm even.

My comedy is for adults, but you can have your kids listen to it. They won't get all the jokes because hopefully I'm more cerebral than a 10-year-old... but if you ask my wife, I'm not!

I'm an Asian with a Southern accent. To a lot of people, that right there is funny.