Love can only exist where freedom and responsibility are operating.
When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform... sends fuel to the brain.
Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.
It is true that you get what you tolerate.
Dating is a place to practice how to relate to other people.
Leave your pride, ego, and narcissism somewhere else. Reactions from those parts of you will reinforce your children's most primitive fears.