There are three things that grow more precious with age; old wood to burn, old books to read, and old friends to enjoy.

I don't like to read books. They muss up my mind.

Under pressure, the mouth speaks when the brain is disengaged, and, sometimes unwittingly, the gearshift is in reverse when it should be in neutral.

Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don't need it: if you are sick you should not take it.

Genius is seldom recognized for what it is: a great capacity for hard work.

Wars do not end wars any more than an extraordinarily large conflagration does away with the fire hazard.

You can't tell me you can make any system or country work with low wages and high prices, and high wages with high prices don't mean anything when the prices eat up the wages and don't leave anything over.