We Americans are hard on almost everything. We are hard on our vehicles, our marriages and our heroes. Mostly, however, we are hard on ourselves.

I believe in North, South, East, West, The seasons, life and death, geography. That which is provable, absolute and most of all, functional. I believe in things that can kill me.

For many years, I tried to make New Year's resolutions. I made lists and shot for great heights: I would show altruism and exert moral strength, patience and all those other great attributes.

I forged myself out of a vacuum. I crawl along the highway on hacked off stumps year after year. Some wonder how and why. I never do.

Football is at least as 'gay' as rugby, Greco-Roman wrestling and the film '300.'

With age, life becomes complex and difficult, often fraught with risk on several levels, from the practical to the fiscal.

If I had to perform in a comedy club I would bomb; I would be trying too hard.