I have no artistic sensibilities. I wish I did. It is probably really cool. I have work habits and work ethic. For me, all the things I do are jobs.

A man came up to me the other day and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks. So you know what I did? I walked by him like he didn't even exist.

When life hands you a lemon, say, 'Oh yeah, I like lemons! What else ya got?

To me, the real 'state of the union' is found in how Americans react to current events.

Sleep is for squares.

Every summer, around late July and into August, I find myself in Europe, performing at any festival that will have me.

I'd like to be a better writer, but I have no dreams to direct or do a screenplay. And I'd love to have a big starring role in a movie because the paycheck would be bigger. That's the only reason I do films.