Friend, many and many a dream is mere confusion a cobweb of no consequence at all. Two gates for ghostly dreams there are: One gateway of honest horn, and one of ivory. Issuing by the ivory gate are dreams of glimmering illusion, fantasies, but those that come through solid polished horn may be borne out, if mortals only know them.

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

Even when someone battles hard, there is an equal portion for one who lingers behind, and in the same honor are held both the coward and the brave man; the idle man and he who has done much meet death alike.

Sensitive love letters are my specialty. 'Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: you.'

You can't go wrong with cocktail weenies. They look as good as they taste. And they come in this delicious red sauce. It looks like ketchup, it tastes like ketchup, but brother, it ain't ketchup!

I detest the man who hides on thing in the depths of his heart and speaks forth another.

Trying is the first step toward failure.