To be happy, a man must love his wife as she chooses to be loved.

A careful observation of Nature will disclose pleasantries of superb irony. She has for instance placed toads close to flowers.

Many people claim coffee inspires them, but, as everybody knows, coffee only makes boring people even more boring.

Few men are raised in our estimation by being too closely examined.

From the manner in which a woman draws her thread at every stitch of her needlework, any other woman can surmise her thoughts.

The press is like a woman: sublime when it lies, it will not let go until it has forced you to believe it. The public, like a foolish husband, always succumbs.

Everything becomes agitated. Ideas quick-march into motion like battalions of a grand army to its legendary fighting ground, and the battle rages. Memories charge in, bright flags on high; the cavalry of metaphor deploys with a magnificent gallop; the artillery of logic rushes up with clattering wagons and cartridges; on imagination's orders, sharpshooters sight and fire; forms and shapes and characters rear up; the paper is spread with ink - for the nightly labor begins and ends with torrents of this black water, as a battle opens and concludes with black powder.