You may be witty, but not satirical.

If any young man is about to commence the world, we say to him, publicly and privately, Go to the West

Answering a letter from a church asking what else they should try after having failed to raise enough money on bake sales, bazaars, suppers, etc. Why not try religion?

Wisdom is never dear, provided the article be genuine.

Great grief makes sacred those upon whom its hand is laid. Joy may elevate, ambition glorify, but sorrow alone can consecrate.

I am too sick to be out of bed, too crazy to sleep, and am surrounded by horrors.

I am the inferior of any man whose rights I trample underfoot.