I used to think Cape Wind was a great idea. That was when Ted Kennedy was alive and railing about how he might spill his Chivas if he had to keep maneuvering the Mya around all those noisy seagull-murdering wind turbines. Anything Ted Kennedy was against, I was for.

In the end, that's what it comes down to with Mitt Romney. He's running as the non-Barack Obama.

As much as the Democrats try to change the subject, this election will be about Barack Obama, period. Mitt's speech last night hit all the right notes, but this fight is not about him. He's just the vessel. Now the question is, does this guy at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. who thinks the private sector is doing fine get another four years?

Nobody has ever denied that when it comes to his trade - gigolo - John Forbes Kerry is one of the all-time greats. He's in the Gigolo Hall of Fame. See, a really good gigolo might snag one heiress in a lifetime with a nine-figure trust fund. Kerry has married two. When it comes to gigolos, he's Steve Jobs.

Michelle Obama - they don't call her Mooch-elle for nothing.

Barack Obama is like the old joke about boats. The two best days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.

Anyone who doesn't think the welfare-industrial complex is trying to increase dependency isn't paying attention.