The success of any stand-up act comes out of life experience.

I don't know if I'm teaching my kids right, but you have to go with your own instincts. You can't be so sure that other people are going to do right by you.

We were a very small circle of writers. Everybody brought to the table their own life experience.

I'm from Canada, so Thanksgiving to me is just Thursday with more food. And I'm thankful for that.

My parents both had a great sense of humor, and always laughed a lot. One night, when they were watching Candid Camera, I finally understood what comedy was all about. I heard the laughter on television, I turned around and saw my parents laughing, and that's when I thought: 'This is great. This is what I can do. I'm gonna prank somebody.'

It's really not that hard. If I do a Tonight Show, it's six or seven minutes. If I do a concert, it's 90 minutes. If I do an interview, that's 15 minutes. So by the end of the day I've done three hours worth of work.

You can go home with a lot of money with absolutely no skill.