The only people who never fail are those who never try

Very few people, thank God, look like the pictures of them which are published in the papers and the weekly magazines.

Believe me, nothing is so calculated to lose you audience sympathy as too many tears. Move your listeners all you can but let them do the crying.

George Moore unexpectedly pinched my behind. I felt rather honored that my behind should have drawn the attention of the great master of English prose.

Prolonged statistics are a lethal dose, which if it does not kill will certainly dispel your audience.

To me travel is triple delight: anticipation, performance, and recollection.

We've surrounded the most vital and commonplace human function with a vast morass of taboos, convention, hypocrisy, and plain claptrap.