Nice plan. Take the gullible outsiders, walk them around for a bit, then feed them to the giant tortoise.

Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'.... 'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted.

Shapeshifter parenting motto—if your kid slit somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear.

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. “Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out.” An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome.

I’d signed six things and my stack wasn’t getting any smaller. It was like the paperwork was breeding while I worked.

People around me die. They drop like flies. I've gone through life leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me. My mother is dead, my guardian is dead, my aunt is dead—because I killed her, and when my real father finds me, he'll move heaven and earth to make me dead.

I'm sorry about the dinner." "Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome.