Do not, under any circumstances, put this book down and turn on the teevee. The teevee debilitates our culture.

I have a really dark, rich, thick sense of humor.

Have a nice, cuntlovin' day.

As ever, the original inhabitants of Turtle Island are entirely overlooked. Mysteriously, the only time indigenous people are guaranteed a mainstream Amerikkan mention is on Thanksgiving. Again, to contextualize, this would be be kinda like someone busting into your house and robbing you blind, then sending you postcards once a year to remind you how much they are enjoying all of your stuff, and getting annoyed with you if you don't respond with appreciation for their thoughtfulness.

Masturbation is an absolutely peerless cure for the hiccups

We tend to hold that popping medicine in our mouths and swallowing is the extent of our involvement in the healing process. We believe that if we get better, it's because the medicine worked magic, not the person.

Love is a positive, symbiotic, reciprocal flow between two or more entities.