What I'm saying is, when you have weight like that in your life, you have to start looking for the bigger picture or you are gonna sink.
Isaac MarionThe shadows of the room pool in the lines of our faces, draining our eyes of hue. "There's nothing left worth saying.
Isaac MarionThere is no ideal world for you to wait around for. The world is always just what it is now, and it's up to you how you respond to it.
Isaac MarionI can no longer believe in any voodoo spell or laboratory virus. This is something deeper, darker. This comes from the cosmos, from the stars, or the unknown blackness behind them. The shadows in God's boarded-up basement.
Isaac MarionThe kind of stuff I usually read is a bit more on the literary side, like books that I think are influential in the sense that they're doing pulpy subject matter in a refined way. Like 'The Road' by Cormac McCarthy, I loved that book.
Isaac MarionI wince at her use of the word "human." I've never liked that differentiation. She is living and I'm dead, but we're both human. Call me an idealist.
Isaac MarionI sigh inside, so exhausted by these ugly questions, but when did a monster ever deserve its privacy?
Isaac MarionEvery time I go to sleep, I know I may never wake up. How could anyone expect to? You drop your tiny, helpless mind into a bottomless well, crossing your fingers and hoping when you pull it out on its flimsy fishing wire it hasn't been gnawed to bones by nameless beasts below.
Isaac MarionI wonder how well she sleeps at night, and what kind of dreams she has. I wish I could step into them like she steps into mine.
Isaac MarionStop. Breathe those useless breaths. Drop this piece of life youโre holding to your lips. Where are you? How long have you been here? Stop now. You have to stop. Squeeze shut your stinging eyes, and take another bite.
Isaac MarionIt frustrates and fascinates me that we'll never know for sure, that despite the best efforts of historians and scientists and poets, there are some things we'll just never know. What the first song sounded like. How it felt to see the first photograph. Who kissed the first kiss, and if it was any good.
Isaac MarionIt's rare that I read more than two or three books by any one author, usually only one.
Isaac MarionWe have to remember everything. If we don't, by the time we grow up it'll be gone forever.
Isaac MarionThere is a chasm between me and the world outside of me. A gap so wide my feelings can't cross it. By the time my screams reach the other side, they have dwindled into groans.
Isaac MarionI think for a minute. Watching my wife fade into the distance, I put a hand on my heart. "Dead." I wave a hand toward my wife. "Dead." My eyes drift toward the sky and lose their focus. "Want it...to hurt. But...doesn't." Julie looks at me like she's waiting for more, and I wonder if I've expressed anything at all with my halting, mumbled soliloquy. Are my words ever actually audible, or do they just echo in my head while people stare at me, waiting? I want to change my punctuation. I long for exclamation marks, but I'm drowning in ellipses.
Isaac MarionSometimes I wonder if he has a philosophy. Maybe even a worldview. I'd like to sit down with him and pick his brain, just a tiny bit somewhere in the frontal lobe to get a taste of his thoughts. But he's too much of a toughguy to ever be that vulnerable. - R on M
Isaac MarionNow Iโm just standing here on the conveyor. Along for the ride. I reach the end, turn around, and go back the other way. The world has been distilled. Being dead is easy. After a few hours of this, I notice a female on the opposite conveyor. She doesnโt lurch or groan like most of us. Her head just lolls from side to side. I like that about her. That she doesnโt lurch or groan. I catch her eye and stare at her.
Isaac MarionThe sports arena Julie calls home is unaccountably large, perhaps one of those dual-event 'super venues' built for an era when the greatest quandary facing the world was where to put all the parties.
Isaac MarionShe is Living and I'm Dead, but I'd like to believe we're both human. Call me an idealist.
Isaac MarionI think the world has mostly ended because the cities we wander through are as rotten as we are. Buildings have collapsed. Rusted cars clog the streets. Most glass is shattered and the wind drifting through the hollow high-rises moans like an animal left to die. I don't know what happened. Disease? War? Social collapse? Or was it just us? The Dead replacing the Living? I guess it's not so important. Once you're arrived at the end of the world, it hardly matters which road you took.
Isaac MarionIs this muteness a real physical handicap? One of the many symptoms of being Dead?Or do we just have nothing left to say?
Isaac MarionBut we donโt remember those lives. We canโt read our diaries.โ โIt doesnโt matter. We are where we are, however we got here. What matters is where we go next.โ โBut can we choose that?โ โI donโt know.โ โWeโre Dead. Can we really choose anything?โ โMaybe. If we want to bad enough.
Isaac MarionI want to change my punctuation. I long for exclamation marks, but I'm drowning in ellipses.
Isaac MarionI hate that she's hurt. I hate that she's been hurt, by me and by others, throughout the entire arc of her life. I barely remember pain, but when I see it in her I feel it in myself, in disproportionate measure. it creeps into my eyes, stinging, burning.
Isaac MarionAre we all just Dark Age doctors, swearing by our leeches? We crave a greater science. We want to be proven wrong.
Isaac MarionWhat's wrong with people?" she says, almost too quiet for me to hear. "Were they born with parts missing or did it fall out somewhere along the way?
Isaac MarionShe gathers my half of the blankets around her and curls up against the wall. She will sleep for hours more, dreaming endless landscapes and novas of colour both gorgeous and frightening. If I stayed she would wake up and describe them to me. All the mad plot twists and surrealist imagery, so vivid to her while so meaningless to me. There was a time when I treasured listening to her, when I found the commotion in her soul bitter-sweet and lovely, but I can no longer bear it.
Isaac MarionAll the shitty stuff people do to themselves... it can all be the same thing, you know? Just a way to drown out your own voice. To kill your memories without having to kill yourself.
Isaac MarionI notice faint scars on her wrists and forearms, thin lines too symmetrical to be accidents.
Isaac MarionOf course, if I eat all of him, if I spare his brain, he'll rise up and follow me back to the airport, and that might make feel better. I'll introduce him to everyone, and maybe we'll stand around and groan for a while. It's hard to say what 'friends' are any more, but that might be close.
Isaac Marion