I have always been a grumbler. I am designed for the part - sagging face, weighty underlip, rumbling, resonant voice. Money couldn't buy a better grumbling outfit.

A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours.

We cannot get grace from gadgets.

Our trouble is that we drink too much tea. I see in this the slow revenge of the Orient, which has diverted the Yellow River down our throats.

Depending upon shock tactics is easy, whereas writing a good play is difficult. Pubic hair is no substitute for wit.

What a grand, higgledy-piggledy, sensible old place Norwich is!

There are plenty of clever young writers. But there is too much genius, not enough talent.