If there is an amateur reader still left in the world - or anybody who just reads and runs - I ask him or her, with untellable affection and gratitude, to split the dedication of this book four ways with my wife and children.

Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first one who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior.

But I'm Crazy. I swear to God I am.

All morons hate it when you call them a moron.

Liberate yourself from my vice-like grip!

I feel overwhelmingly grateful to them, but I don't know what to do with their invisible gifts.

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.