Or you'd just passed by one of those puddles in the street with gasoline rainbows in them. I mean you'd be different in some way—I can't explain what I mean. And even if I could, I'm not sure I'd feel like it.

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.

Almost every time somebody gives me a present, it ends up making me sad.

I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.

This is God's universe, buddy, not yours, and he has the final say about what's ego and what isn't.

Sex is something I really don't understand too hot. You never know where the hell you are. I keep making up these sex rules for myself, and then I break them right away. Last year I made a rule that I was going to quit horsing around with girls that, deep down, gave me a pain in the ass. I broke it, though, the same week I made it - the same night, as a matter of fact.

People are mostly hot to have a discussion when you're not.