After I go out this door, I may only exist in the minds of all my acquaintances…I may be an orange peel.

Girls. You never know what they're going to think.

I said old Jesus probably would've puked if He could see it - all those fancy costumes and all. Sally said I was a sacrilegious atheist. I probably am. The thing Jesus really would've liked would be the guy who plays the kettle drums in the orchestra.

Real ugly girls have it tough. I feel so sorry for them sometimes.

While I was walking I passed these two guys that were unloading this big Christmas tree off a truck. One guy, kept saying to the other guy, 'Hold the sonunvabitch up! Hold it up, for Chrissake!' It certainly was a gorgeous way to talk about a Christmas tree.

I was surrounded by phonies...They were coming in the goddam window.

For joy, apparently, it was all Franny could do to hold the phone, even with both hands.