I thought what I'd do was I'd pretend I was one of those deaf-mutes.

Anyway, I'm sort of glad they've got the atomic bomb invented. If there's ever another war, I'm going to sit right the hell on top of it. I'll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will.

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.

She worries over the way her love for me comes and goes, appears and disappears. She doubts its reality simply because it isn't as steadily pleasurable as a kitten. God knows it is sad. The human voice conspires to desecrate everything on earth.

I mean how do you know what you're going to do till you do it? The answer is, you don't. I think I am, but how do I know? I swear it's a stupid question.

Hell is the suffering of being unable to love.

... even the most sublimely accomplished non-stop talker can't consistently please.