So why in the name of Merlin’s saggy left —” “Don’t talk to your mother like that.

Whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.

Once again I must ask too much of you, Harry.

That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand new uniform...As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon said gruffly that if was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn't trust himself to speak. He thought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not to laugh.

Harry was left to ponder in silence the depths to which girls would sink to get revenge.

Imagine losing fingernails, Harry! That really puts our sufferings into perspective, doesn't it?

Secretly we're all a little more absurd than we make ourselves out to be.