I literally went in and auditioned and got the part of "sounds like J.K. Simmons." I've heard people say a "J.K. Simmons type, but younger" or "J.K. Simmons, but with hair" or "J.K. Simmons but Mongolian." It's often "J.K. Simmons but...". You think you're on top of the world and they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons-type" and then, before you know it, they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons only younger." The next step is for a "J.K. Simmons-type...Oh, you mean he's still alive?"

There are no two words in the English language more harmful than good job.

And if I may, call your mom, everybody. I've told this [to], like, a billion people, or so. Call your mom, call your dad. If you're lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call 'em. Don't text. Don't email. Call them on the phone. Tell 'em you love 'em, and thank them, and listen to them for as long as they want to talk to you. Thank you. Thank you, Mom and Dad.

When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your D*** lemons, what the h*** am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!

I literally went in and auditioned and got the part of "sounds like J.K. Simmons." I've heard people say a "J.K. Simmons type, but younger" or "J.K. Simmons, but with hair" or "J.K. Simmons but Mongolian." It's often "J.K. Simmons but...". You think you're on top of the world and they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons-type" and then, before you know it, they're asking for a "J.K. Simmons only younger." The next step is for a "J.K. Simmons-type...Oh, you mean he's still alive?"

I'm not a fan of any genre but am a fan of movies that are intelligent and/or funny. That goes across all genres: a horror movie, a zombie movie, alien invaders, chick flick, or raunchy comedy. If it's well done, I'm a fan.

The best compliment I ever got from the public or producers or directors is that I just totally blend in and become the character and they don't notice me and that the play happens or the movie happens or the TV show happens.