Nobody deserves this much money - certainly not an actor.

It's hard enough to write a good drama, it's much harder to write a good comedy, and it's hardest of all to write a drama with comedy. Which is what life is.

If you really do want to be an actor who can satisfy himself and his audience, you need to be vulnerable. [You must] reach the emotional and intellectual level of ability where you can go out stark naked, emotionally, in front of an audience.

I would rather play Hamlet with no rehearsal than TV golf.

Stay humble. Always answer your phone - no matter who else is in the car.

how she moves. That's just like Jell-O on springs. She must have some sort of built-in motors. I tell you, it's a whole different sex! Joe: What are you afraid of? Nobody's asking you to have a baby.

No matter how successful you get, always send the elevator back down.