Notice this rent in my garment; I am at a loss to explain its presence! I am even more puzzled by the existence of the universe.

I become drunk as circumstances dictate.

I never worked in an office in my life.

I do read books. I suppose it's more or less the same thing, but at least I'm alone and I'm an individual. I can stop anytime I want, which I frequently do.

I'd never been published when I was young.

Mischief moves somewhere near and I must blast it with my magic.

I haven't sold to the movies. In other words, I haven't gotten any enormous checks yet.