My mouth is full of decayed teeth and my soul of decayed ambitions.

When I makes tea I makes tea, as old mother Grogan said. And when I makes water I makes water.

When I heard the word ''stream'' uttered with such a revolting primness, what I think of is urine and not the contemporary novel. And besides, it isn't new, it is far from the dernier cri. Shakespeare used it continually, much too much in my opinion, and there's Tristam Shandy, not to mention the "Agamemnon."

The sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotumtightening sea.

Read your own obituary notice; they say you live longer. Gives you second wind. New lease of life.

In the name of Annah the Allmaziful, the Everliving, the Bringer of Plurabilities, haloed be her eve, her singtime sung, her rill be run, unhemmed as it is uneven!

His eyes were dimmed with tears and, looking humbly up to heaven, he wept for the innocence he had lost.