The man of science appears to be the only man who has something to say just now, and the only man who does not know how to say it.

But where do you live mostly now?" With the lost boys." Who are they?" They are the children who fall out of their perambulators when the nurse is looking the other way. If they are not claimed in seven days they are sent far away to the Neverland to defray expanses. I'm captain." What fun it must be!" Yes," said cunning Peter, "but we are rather lonely. You see we have no female companionship." Are none of the others girls?" Oh no; girls, you know, are much too clever to fall out of their prams.

I should like to say that I left off smoking because I considered it a mean form of slavery, to be condemned for moral as well as physical reasons; but though I see the folly of smoking clearly now, I was blind to it for some months after I had smoked my last pipe. I gave up my most delightful solace, as I regarded it, for no other reason than that the lady who was willing to fling herself away on me said that I must choose between it and her.

How shall we ever know if it's morning if there's no servant to pull up the blinds?

Them that has china plates themsel's is the maist careful not to break the china plates of others

I don't want to go to school and learn solemn things.

Oh, God, if I were sure I were to die tonight I would repent at once. It is the commonest prayer in all languages.