I used to think the reason I'd like to stop letting fear run my life was that it felt so bad to be afraid, and also that it was pointless - possibly wasted, if the feared thing never did materialize. But now that fear has packed its miserable bags and is running out the door, making slamming noises to call attention to itself, I begin to see how much room fear has occupied. What opportunity opens up!
Jan FrazierRemove the heavy clothing of your self-definition. You are not woman, you are not American, you are not son, you are not spiritual seeker, executive, teacher, unemployed, you are not wounded, you are not highly respected, you are not productive, you are not blah-blah-blah-blah.
Jan FrazierDismantling the ego, quieting the mind, isn't something you can actively undertake to do. It just happens on its own, when you consciously accept the moment you are in, when you don't fight the present reality with thoughts of how you'd like it to be otherwise, or what you're afraid the next moment might bring, when you don't resist with justification or regret or blame of self or other.
Jan FrazierI marvel now that it was not obvious how inextricable suffering and fear are. It was not until fear left that I noticed, slowly, how it seemed to have taken suffering with it. It took a while to figure out that (for me, anyhow) suffering is mostly caused by fear-not by the circumstances themselves, but by my response to them.
Jan FrazierIf you tell yourself there is a path you need to travel, that it will take time to get where you want to go-that there is a distance between you and the fully realized state-then the path can become a way of holding liberation at arm's length.
Jan FrazierMany spiritual seekers who say their wish is to awaken don't actually want what they believe they do. This becomes clear sometimes at the approach to the brink of what feels like a void, where the obliteration of the egoic self seems imminent. With a shocked recognition of what is being asked, the person will recoil. The scale of the loss-the dissolution of the familiar self-is beyond what was bargained for.
Jan Frazier