My name is Mortimer Alexander and I am a licensed summoner." "Darn. I'd hoped you were the pizza delivery guy.

What about Beck?" "Backwoods Boy? Are you crazy? It'd be a threesome - me, him and his overbearing ego. Definitely doomed to failure.

Girl? He pressed. The name is Riley, she shot back. Learn it. Use it!

Here I am with a seriously hunky guy and I'm covered in demon pee. Why does the universe hate me?

It was the kiss of a man who had waited years for the moment, and feared that it would never come again.

Adults always acted like they could fix everything. But they can't. And they know it.

Simon had been all lined up and he’d managed to throw away the best girl he’d ever meet. “What a dumbass,” Beck muttered. “No way I’d have done that.