In my experience, clever food is not appreciated at Christmas. It makes the little ones cry and the old ones nervous.

In my experience, clever food is not appreciated at Christmas. It makes the little ones cry and the old ones nervous.

The artichoke above all is the vegetable expression of civilised living, of the long view, of increasing delight by anticipation and crescendo. No wonder it was once regarded as an aphrodisiac. It had no place in the troll's world of instant gratification. It makes no appeal to the meat-and-two-veg mentality.

This special feeling towards fruit, its glory and abundance, is I would say universal.... We respond to strawberry fields or cherry orchards with a delight that a cabbage patch or even an elegant vegetable garden cannot provoke.

The apple was the first fruit of the world according to Genesis, but it was no Cox's Orange Pippin. God gave the crab apple and left the rest to man.

Cabbage as a food has problems. It is easy to grow, a useful source of greenery for much of the year. Yet as a vegetable it has original sin, and needs improvement. It can smell foul in the pot, linger through the house with pertinacity, and ruin a meal with its wet flab. Cabbage also has a nasty history of being good for you.