I'm telling you, it's fu**ing hard to be classy

Cracker Jacks don't count as junk food because they're corn and peanuts, which we know to be high in nutrition. And they have a prize inside.

He rooted for the Mets, he wore Foot of the Loom underwear, and he drove a Buick. His loyalties were carved in stone and he wasn't about to be impressed with some upstart of a toaster salesman who drove a Bonneville.

You ever get any death threats? How about ex-husbands or ex-boyfriends? You run over anyone recently?” ~ Morelli

I am not menopausal. I just wanted half an hour alone. Is that too much to ask? A crappy half hour!

'It's been almost a month since you found a body. I knew you were due.'

I think I got a bruise from landing on you. I hear bacon is real good for healing a bruise.