The name is Schitt," he replied. "Jack Schitt.

Writing is not something you can do or you can't. It's not even something that 'other people do' or 'for smart people only' or even 'for people who finished school and went to University'. Nonsense. Anyone can do it. But no-one can do it straight off the bat. Like plastering, brain surgery or assembling truck engines, you have to do a bit of training - get your hands dirty - and make some mistakes.

If you expect me to believe that a lawyer wrote A Midsummer Night's Dream, I must be dafter than I look.

Maybe those sorts of yes-or-no life-and-death decisions are easier to make because they are so black and white. I can cope with them because it's easier. Human emotions, well. . .they're just a fathomless collection of grays and I don't do so well on the midtones.

the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.

Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.

I wished I could share my own optimism.