Lesson one in time travel, Thursday. First of all, we are all time travellers. The vast majority of us manage only one day per day.

Marriage, like spinach and opera, was something I had never thought I would like.

Pretend to be mad and talk a lot. Then — and this is the important bit — do nothing at all until you absolutely have to and then make sure everyone dies.

Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.

Social mores change with time, like fashion - who knows where it might all end up? I especially like the idea that waste, impoliteness and overpopulation become "abominations," although I'm not sure recycling one's aunt will ever truly catch on.

Comedy was one of those genres that while appearing quite jolly was actually highly dangerous.

I have the death sentence in seven genres.